On Behalf of Chocoholics Everywhere

Comments (6)

Dear Hershey's,

I recently stumbled across two giant Hershey's Kisses (affectionately named "Hershey's Make-Outs" by some) that I purchased shortly after Valentine's Day. The Make-Outs were meant to be sent to friends, but I never remembered to put the care packages in the mail. Yeah, I'm a failure. That's another topic for another letter.

Today, we're here to talk about your failure. Sure, the Make-Outs are a great idea. Giant globs of chocolate, pretty enough to give to a loved one but not too fancy to buy for yourself. Genius, really. The problem, however, lies beneath the pretty foil and the cute ribbon.

How the hell is a person supposed to eat these things??

I mean honestly. I've tried the Stabby Knife routine, but that just leaves me with a dusting of a chocolate and a twisted piece of metal. I've tried the Carvy Knife thing, but that's no good either. I always end up resorting to the Gnaw Like It's Your Chew Toy plan, which results in chipped teeth and chocolate all up the side of my face. And I'm supposed to share that experience with a loved one? I have enough problems getting guys on my own without your help, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

So.

Here's where I stop yelling and start being helpful. I suggest that you take a page from the Chocolate Oranges book. Skip all those chapters on Tasting Like Crap and head over to Pre-Sliced for Easy Consumption (page 126). I don't care how you slice or dice the thing, but please — for the love of boys and chocolate and everything else that is good in this world — take my gosh damn advice.

Give. Me. Edible. Chocolate.

Much love,
Rachelskirts

chris

chris

I'd warm it up a bit first. Perhaps heat an oven to the lowest setting and leave the Kiss on it for a few minutes. But keep an eye on it!

TheQueen

TheQueen

Freeze it, then smash it confidently with a hammer.

Jwewmiah

Jwewmiah

Chocolate on your face? I think THAT'S the reason for the Make-Out.

There's probably some fine print somewhere that says "Note: Must already have loved one for this to be used at it's fullest potential."

Ben

Ben

Re: chipped teeth and a slimy face? That's a high school Make-Out

Ren

Ren

I can crush one of those in five minutes. Jaws of steel.

Michael

Michael

LOL - That was absolutely hay-larious... Perfectly articulated.

Keep 'em comin'!

-MJT