Sippin' on My Haterade

Comments (5)

I don't normally use this space to go on a rampage against people who have wronged me or companies that have screwed me over, but I have been asked to write up a little hate note on behalf of my best friend. Mess with a friend, and I WILL CUT YOU. With words. On my blog. Here goes.

Dear GoTickets.com,

My beloved friend just returned from Iraq a few weeks ago. The poor thing has been working twelve-hour shifts every day for months on end, and all he wanted when he got back to the States was to take his dad to a Steelers game. He gave you way too much money, sang to you about pirates at night, sent you pictures of his sweet new "skillz" three-finger ring, and promised to go to New York with you. He is a good person like that. In return, you gave him the wrong tickets! Tickets for seats that were like thirty yards in the crappier direction! What the heck?

To make matters worse, you only refunded him $35 for each ticket, which left him still paying twice as much as the people next to him. And oh yeah, he was still in the wrong seats!

I hereby spit on you and hope you have to work on Thanksgiving this year. I hope your grandma forgets to buy you a birthday present, and I hope you stub your toe. I hope you get shampoo in your eye tomorrow and are too distracted to put on deodorant. I hope nobody tells you about the spinach in your teeth. Also? Those pants totally DO make you look fat because you ARE fat. Fatty McLardpants.

Don't ever mess with my friends again.

No love for you at all,
Rachelskirts

seven

seven

I love you.

Ren

Ren

Such mean words Rachel, go wash your mouth out with soap young lady!

Team Christmas

Team Christmas

Look on the bright side: At least he did get to go.

Elizabeth Marie

Elizabeth Marie

This is fabulous. I should do this for my boyfriend who just got screwed over by Amazon. Or maybe I'll just ask you to do it. I think it's far more effective when coming from you. I always feel guilty and end up apologizing to the no name customer service employee. Damn my peace-kepping nature.

Michael

Michael

Did you steal the phrase, "Sippin' on My Haterade" from my sister? Or are you just that awesome? Cause I swear I've heard her say that before. I am now christening you as my cousin. There is no way we are not related.