Sageskirts Advice: Wisdom Teeth Edition

Comments (11)

SuperSanko, my little brother, is having surgery tomorrow to remove his wisdom teeth. I suffered through the same process four years ago, so I thought I'd share some sisterly advice:

  1. Wendy's has the best ice cubes. They are crescent-shaped and fit nicely inside your cheeks. I don't know what fart machine Taco Bell uses to produce their ice turds, but don't even go there. You'll be extremely disappointed in the taste, texture, and shape.
  2. Make sure you pass out before they start asking any embarrassing questions. I was fortunate in that they asked me what school I was attending at the time and how to spell the name. L-e-T-o-u-r-n-e-a-u. I slurred my way through the first five hundred vowels and then crashed. I have no memory of what happened after that; I just woke up in another room with some teeth and possibly a kidney missing.
  3. Wendy's scores another point here for the invention of the Frosty. That mofo is a great thing to have around when your mouth is too sore to open.
  4. That applesauce has been sitting in the cupboard since 1994, but you'll be desperate enough to think about eating it. Don't.

I'm sure I'm missing a few tips, but the important stuff to remember is: love Wendy's, watch a lot of TV, and completely take advantage of the parents and their kindness for as long as possible. Good luck, little brother!

chris

chris

I had my bottom two wisdom teeth pulled 14 years ago. The top two haven't come in yet.

Mandy Sue

Mandy Sue

I had mine pulled at the ripe age of 13. Because of how young I was, I was swollen for approx. 3 times the amount of a normal person. I'm told I watched Brother, Where Art Thou after I got home from the surgery, but have little to no memory of this actually happening (which is probably a good thing because that movie is CRAP).
My advice:

Take advantage of any and all meds they give you and take it as often as allowed, even if it's not hurting yet...'cause the pain will come back and then it will take awhile for those Vicoden to kick in.

Huge soft cloth covered ice packs (the kind they make for back pain) are great because they are big enough to wrap around the entirety of your jaw and get both sides at once.

Whatever you do, don't let your dad blend things that aren't supposed to be blended. For example: When your dad makes steak, don't say it's okay for him to blend it with a V8 because it will end up looking like puke--and make you want to hurl. Just don't do it.

Sanko

Sanko

Thanks for all the advice ervrybody! I look forward to lots of ice cream and painkillers.

Jenn

Jenn

If you wake up during the procedure, don't try to carry on a conversation with the dentist. You won't make any sense and just tick the dentist off enough for moving your mouth that he might want to stab you with a drill.

Angela

Angela

My mom made more pudding and jello than I've ever seen in my life when I got mine removed. Chicken noodle soup was also my best friend.

The best thing about it, though? When my brother and mom were staring at me, completely out of it (I have NO recollection of this whatsoever), after surgery. My brother says to my mom, "She looks so pathetic." My mom's response? "She looks retarded."

LindzML

LindzML

Aww, the number one thing I can suggest is the ever-important stop by Planet Smoothie immediately after getting them out. I got all four out at once and could barely swallow for 48 hours so my mom put all of my pills in a spoonful of my favorite smoothie and poured it down my throat.

Have a parent put you on a painkiller schedule that varies between the stuff they prescribe and massive amounts of ibuprofin.

Also, don't let anyone see you in your puffy state, like a significant other, or anyone with a camera. Otherwise you might find yourself with a killer nickname like "chippy" (for chipmunk) or "puffin" or "fatty". Good luck!

sthorwall

sthorwall

The best thing that came out of my wisdom experience was learning that the max dose of ibuprofen is four, not the measly two they tell you on the bottle. Abuse this fact. Particularly since it's hard to consume food or even sloshfood at first, and Vicodin on an empty stomach = NOT HAPPY. Actually, the vicodin is so strong that unless you're in seriously life-threatening pain, a half-dose or less should be sufficient to dull the pain until your next ibuprofen cycle. Also, A+++ to a frozen bag of peas or corn. Frozen, cold, awesome, and molds to your face.

Eat the applesauce.

Make up funny stories about what happened while you were under the knife.

When you see the doctor again, talk to him like an old British lady.

Mandy Sue

Mandy Sue

sthorwall--I think vicoden affects everyone differently. For me the pain was so bad that I needed that full dose on a regular schedule. I tried switching to ibuprofen, but it didn't work well enough (and i did know the max dose was 4).

Jace of Fuse!

Jace of Fuse!

Having undergone various oral surgeries over the past several months, let me say I have a strong appreciation for oxycodone. Partly because as everyone knows ibuprofen is a big old ball of horse crap but mostly because if you are lucky enough to get the kind of work the requires this kind of pain killer then you're going also be lucky enough to have a valid excuse to avoid things like work or life.

I've endured a lot of pain in recent months and the pills after last weeks surgery were a welcomed change of pace. If I'm really lucky I'll get more pills after my visit with the surgeon tomorrow.

The orthodontist always just sends me home telling me to take some ibuprofen, which, as has already been determined, is nothing but crap from a blistered horse anus.

Ibuprofen = Crap
Hard core pain killers = Awesomeness

Gilligan

Gilligan

I agree! Painkillers are da bomb! Of course, I was gassed and injected when I had all four of mine taken out. The only things I remember are counting backwards from 100 and laughing about it, dreaming I was in a side-scrolling Mario world, and waking up afterwards good to go, only minorly upset that I didn't get to finish the level I was on. :-) Oh, and afterwards, ice cream, chicken soup, and pudding for a week.

So yeah, get some rest and you'll do well. Cheers!

Jace of Fuse!

Jace of Fuse!

Update: Scored more pills.

This morning I was like >_

But now I'm like ^_^