The Sock Monkey Family

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There was a 20SB prompt a few weeks ago about the things we collect, and I immediately thought of my beloved sock monkeys. I never really intended to have a "collection" of them. One minute, I was standing in a Cracker Barrel and thinking that the sock monkey in my hand was the only thing I liked about that place; the next, I had a sock monkey tea set and sock monkey slippers and a family of five adorable sock monkeys smiling at me.

Pictured from left to right: Itty Bitty, Sugarplum the Violent, Cuppycake, Pierre, and Juan Pedro.

Juan Pedro was the first sock monkey I ever owned. As I said, I bought him at a Cracker Barrel and then asked the Internet to give him a name. He had too much personality for me, so I gave him his own Twitter account, Facebook account, and email address. (Some Central American TV celebrity whose name is Juan Pedro is really bummed that I got to the name first, but hey, I'm the queen of the Internet. Buzz off.)

Years later, my dad brought home Itty Bitty, who came with adoption papers and all of the cuteness in the world. Everyone wanted to know when she would get her own Twitter account and the like, but people, she's way too young for that. She and the others do work with Juan Pedro to manage all of my social media updates, though. I pay them in Scooby Snacks and hugs.

The third member of the team was Pierre, a gift from Cuddles for my birthday. His name was given to him by the fine folks at Pier 1 Imports, and it just sort of fits. (I saw him on a Pier 1 commercial months before my birthday and had been secretly hoping someone would send him my way. Thanks, Joey!)

Cuppycake showed up a few days later when I had my birthday party with my immediate family. I think my mom feels guilty about refusing to let me have a cat, so she's drowning her guilt—and me—in sock monkeys. I'm a little wary of Cuppycake, who has "Happy Birthday" written on her tummy in Comic Sans every day of the year. However, the other sock monkeys say she throws really great parties, so she stays. I guess she's the Pinkie Pie of the bunch.

Sugarplum the Violent was a stocking stuffer for Christmas, and she has a clip on the top of her head. She really isn't violent, but the other sock monkeys were afraid of the clip when they saw it, mistaking it for a weapon. I'm keeping it on her head in case the group needs to defend themselves against zombie Beanie Babies or whatever.

Anyway, that's my family of sock monkeys. If you'd like to meet them, I recommend hosting a tea party—real or virtual—and sending a formal invitation or five.



I love the internet's hatred for Comic Sans. I've been using it as my font on AIM since day one. At first it was because I saw the font and was like "Hey, this is similar to my handwriting." My handwriting, in my opinion, is a lovechild between Comic Sans and Verdana. But even though CS looks so goofy, I still use it on AIM as sort of a tradition because hey, we all need our schtick, and I'm already so good at annoying people.



I will fully admit that Comic Sans was my typeface of choice on AIM for a solid year or more in junior high and maybe even the first part of high school. But back then, there were only like five choices, and the other ones seemed so boring. The novelty of the handwriting thing was sooo cool. :)

Of course, I now run a "ban Comic Sans" Tumblr and was the inspiration behind and campaigned at my church to have it removed from all of our publications. We're broke, but we can afford to install another bubbly handwriting font if push comes to shove. :)

Annnnyway, good luck to you in your quest to annoy people. I look forward to seeing you on the Comic Sans battlefield some day.