October Favorites

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I haven't shared a collection of my favorite tweets since February 2012, so if you hate this sort of thing, I apologize for doing this to you twice in one decade. Twitter has been on my mind a lot this month, though, mostly because it's how I was first introduced to some people seven years ago. It's still a huge part of how I meet and connect with friends, it's the one site I watch during important events, and it's my go-to place for entertainment when I wake up every morning. In short, I love Twitter. So without further ado, here are some of the tweets I loved the most in October 2014:

"What if I told you we now have the technology to DEEP FRY OUR VERY SOULS [TED Talk audience explodes] [America high fives itself to death]"

— @fireland

"'Mommy, can we read the rest of the poop book?' We own a book about poop that is too long to read in one sitting."

— @CcSteff

"Pretty insensitive how the early bird instagram filter is based what the world looks like to victims of horse tramplings."

— @danielhuffman

"Million dollar idea: batting gloves that don't need to be adjusted and tightened after every pitch."

— @badbanana

"i'm pretty sure the answer, but to be clear, 'bishes' is just like a cool new way to say 'bitches'; it's not the name for female fishes?"

— @JesseDavidFox

"I'm up late, I'm on the Internet, and I'll be honest, I'm not even in the same time zone as sober"

— @cleversimon

"If you don't have prematurely grey hair, good luck being the CEO of anything."

— @KentMarlboro

"your password must contain at least one lie society told you and one dream you gave up for the financial means to survive"

— @nice_mustard*

"You Probably Heard Around the Office We've Been Making a Lot Of Difficult Cutbacks, Charlie Brown"

— @sloganeerist

"Have You Engaged With Any Brands Lately, Charlie Brown?"

— @giromide

"This Product Was Manufactured in a Factory That Also Processes Wheat, Charlie Brown"

— @loresjoberg*

"Coffee Is For Closers, Charlie Brown"

— @TimProbable*

*Disclaimer: I do not follow these people, so I do not know if they are joke thieves or legitimately great humans. Follow at your own risk.

TOTALLY NOT Tyler

TOTALLY NOT Tyler

I sell corn and corn accessories.
— @thursdayschild

Rachelskirts

Rachelskirts

HAHA. I missed so many of Tyler's tweets because I favorited them from another account. This is what I get for not letting the sock monkeys help me with this post. *HANGS HEAD IN SHAME*

TOTALLY NOT Tyler

TOTALLY NOT Tyler

He may forgive you. Eventually.