Steal This Idea: Drive-Thru Desserts

November 03, 2008 @ 11:34 PM • Comments (9)

Alright, internet. So, I know I just tricked a lot of you into calling the Rejection Hotline because, well, the temptation to abuse Twitter is just impossible to resist sometimes. But let's forget that funny little prank and move on to something way more important.

Drive-thru desserts.

(Note: yes, it pains me to write "thru" instead of "through," but I think the industry has pretty much established that as the standard. Shut up.)

Tonight, my mother and I were victims of the Sneak Attack Sweet Tooth and his good buddy, Mr. Lazypants. These villainous creatures took control of our innocent brains as we were on our way home from haircuts, when we were weak from too many aerosol products and dizzy from being so good-looking. I stupidly suggested that we go to Johnny Carino's to get some tiramisu to go, realizing only after I opened my mouth that the only location I know of is in Longview, TX. Oops.

So then we started trying to talk out our options. Ice cream? No. Too chilly. Candy? We'd have to get out of the car. Uhh...

And that's when it hit me. There are not nearly enough drive-thru dessert options here in America. Yes, we can give you coffee with five shots of pure awesome, burgers with a side of extra grease, salads christened by the Pope himself, and four million different flavors of ice cream cones or milkshakes or what have you. The fast food world is indeed a cornucopia of great things, but our biggest and most important food group has been shamefully ignored.

(To add insult to injury, my mother and I finally wound up at McDonald's, searching for a vanilla ice cream cone and an Oreo McFlurry, respectively. But guess what? Ice cream machine was broken! We were reduced to trying some sort of cinnamon roll creation, which was admittedly edible and borderline tasty, but not what we were hoping for. We stopped by a second McDonald's ten minutes later and were greeted with yet another broken ice cream machine. Someone get to work on that, please.)

All this to say, I'd like to be able to swing by an establishment to pick up any of the following items:

  • a piece of pie, preferably French silk or rhubarb
  • a piece of tiramisu
  • a king-sized candy bar
  • a chocolate chip cookie
  • a molten lava cake
  • a slice of cheesecake

You get the idea. I want quality dessert at a decent price to be delivered out of a building's window through my car's window into my lap. And then I want some cheap utensils and the right to shove some tasty food into my gullet without ever having to move my butt. So let's forget Jenny Craig and Atkins and South Beach and get America back where it belongs—embracing gluttony and convenience. People of the internet, I trust you can make this happen.

chris
chris

Amen.

And I have an overwhelming urge to say, in regards to paragraph three, "No, you shought up."

Michael
Michael

I'm going to start ordering coffee with and extra shot of pure awesome. Thank you for making my life worth living.

Also, have I ever told you about the coffee shop I want to open? (That was a rhetorical question, because I have an electronical record of every conversation you and I have ever had... I know I haven't told you... Shut up... Jerkheadfaceholepants... skirts...)(moving on...) I think I might blog about it sometime. I specifically want your input.

Jenn
Jenn

I think McDonalds just shuts off its ice cream machines around dinnertime and claim they're broken when someone walks in looking for a cool treat. That, or they need a new ice cream machine in every one of their stores. It happened to me so many times over the summer and several different McDonalds locations where I'd go in looking for an ice cream cone at night, only to have them tell me their machine was broken. McFail.

Vicki
Vicki

I agree! BK has a pretty tasty hersey pie and let's not forget Portillos chocolate cake! But, overall, the fast food industry is seriously lacking in this main food group area. Do you think we could add that to the marketing warehouse idea? Publication design with drive-thru desserts! YUMMY! I'd never want to leave work!

bigskygirl
bigskygirl

dude. i am so sad for you. don't any coffee shops or anything have drive thrus? SAD.

Also, I *heart* tiramisu more than any dessert on earth. JC's has THE BEST EVAH. We eat at a place in Bozeman MT every so often called "The Bay" and their chef used to be a pastry chef, so she makes authentic tiramisu.

JC's is still better. :)

BTW, your RE: to my sheep/pig comment totally made me spray soda all over this morning. You've put a lot of thought into the kidnapping of short people. ;)

Thursday's Child
Thursday's Child

You can get cheesecake at Chick-Fil-A. It's pretty tasty!

Ren
Ren

Since coffee and dessert go oh-so very well together, I opt we overflow Starbuck's suggestion box with serving desserts... and never failing on their five shots of pure awesome.

MajalisBlooms
MajalisBlooms

What about Culver's? Are there Culver's in Chicago?

Jeff
Jeff

Here in Fort Worth, we have a drive through frozen custard stand called Sheridan's. They have a flavor of the month, and some standards. You can get pretty much any combination you want, plus they have smoothies (with or without custard). That's all they do. Custard and smoothies. And they do it well.

I guess donuts (doughnuts?) don't count as dessert, do they?

I wonder how a drive-through cake stand would do? Drive-through creme-brulee?? I'd hit that!!