Free Tongues

January 04, 2012 @ 06:35 PM • Comments (5)

I spoonerize words all the time. All. The. Time. Good spoonerisms and bad. In my head. (I worderize spoons all the time. Tall. The Lime. Spoon Gooderisms band ad. Hin my ed.)

I was reading the above quote from Neven Mrgan's blog in the midst of a long week which turned into a long month which is still dragging on toward eternity. Ahem. The whole article got me thinking about a number of things, like the first time I heard the word "spoonerisms" and what a great-looking Tumblr page Neven has and how I should really get around to reading through his archives some day. (I went traipsing through the archives five minutes later.)

But the actual content, the story about how he has been intentionally spoonerizing words for years, has been stuck in my head all these long weeks. I just can't fathom someone who intentionally does what I try so hard not to do.

When I get really stressed or if I find myself surrounded by people who intimidate me or somehow make me nervous, I leak spoonerisms. They don't stay in my head for my own amusement. They spill out in awkward gushes in the middle of conversations, so my tongue tries to do a U-turn, and hi, is Rachel channeling demons? Maybe we should take our punch and cookies elsewhere.

It's one of the many things I had hoped to outgrow after childhood, but here I am at 26 and still unable to match syllables together in the right order. And even if I can get the words right, my brain starts jumbling up colloquialisms until I sound like a foreigner trying to repeat jokes I heard on informercials. For example, "ruffled her feathers" and "got her undies in a bunch" join forces to become "ruffle her undies" or "got her feathers in a bunch."

The worst part of it is that people just nod along with what I'm saying, the only hint that they caught my mistake being the glimmer of pity in the corner of their eye. Sometimes, it takes me days to realize what I've said, and I then get an instant replay of the pity and the glimmering and the silent nodding that I should have known was for me.

Anyway, I guess this is just one giant warning to the people who will meet me at VidCon and other shindigs in 2012. I'll try to wear a name tag, but you can also just wait 'til someone says, "Oh, you know what they say! 'A fly in the hand is worth two thousand words!'"

Sigh.

gRegor
gRegor

None specifically come to mind (IT'S BEEN OVER TWO DAYS), but I've always found it rather entertaining when you get tongue-tied, make U-turns, or otherwise make fun sounds. No pity/judgment, though, just entertainment.

Rachelskirts
Rachelskirts (in reply to gRegor)

Well, it's refreshing that someone at least admits that it happens. I'm also glad that you only remember it as being amusing, since I know I get really frustrated with myself immediately after a slip-up and usually take it out on the world or at least the person standing next to me. HOW DARE YOU WITNESS MY INABILITY TO SPEAK?

Brianne
Brianne

There's a bard named Terry Foy that makes a living telling spoonerized stories such as "Rindercella and the Stoo Tugly Epsisters" and "Rittle Led Hiding Rood,"!

Rachelskirts
Rachelskirts (in reply to Brianne)

For a moment, I was thinking, "What? People get paid to have my disease?" But then I remembered that, given that I don't actually have any control over the situation, I'd end up spoonerizing the words right back to the way they were supposed to be. And no one would pay for that. BUT HEY, glad to know someone out there has mad verbal skills. Maybe I could hire him to teach me how to speak properly.

chris
chris

SO GLAD I'M NOT ALONE. :D