Google It, Michelle

The History of "Google it, Michelle!"

I was scrolling through tweets from @LOTR fans in February 2013 when I shouted, "Google it, Michelle!" across an empty room. Michelle was and is a complete stranger to me, but she is the butterfly to my hurricane. Her decision that day to say "or however it is spelt" instead of taking five seconds to look up the correct and unbutchered spelling of "Macarena" has forever changed my life.

Most notably, I instantly posted to my private Twitter account (see below) that I was going to turn this phrase into a meme, and now that at least five people in my life also use it regularly, I consider this mission a success.

"Google it, Michelle!" in Everyday Life

Any time someone asks you a question or ponders aloud in your direction, quickly analyze the situation and decide if you are really the person who could best provide the answer. If you are, answer it like a super nice person and reward yourself with a cookie. If you are not, stare in contempt at the other party and shout, "Google it, Michelle!" in your most condescending voice. Reward yourself with two cookies.

Example #1: A coworker asks you how you enjoyed your Christmas break. While information about this might be available online, it's still fair to expect a personal answer. Say something witty and eat that cookie.

Example #2: A coworker asks you how to make numbered tickets in InDesign. In my case, I do know how to do this, but A) I don't get paid to train anyone how to use software, B) I only use this skill twice a year and would likely Google it myself to make sure I didn't mess something up, C) I barely have time in my week to get my own work done, and D) by the time that coworker got through making the request, he or she could've been halfway through the easy-to-Google tutorial for making numbered tickets in InDesign. Shout "Google it, Michelle!" and eat two cookies.

Example #3: Your father ponders aloud during every commercial, "I wonder who that actor is. He looks so familiar! I wonder how much that product costs! It looks like it does some things! I wonder how many licks it takes to get to the middle of a Tootsie Pop! Blah blah blah blah!" Politely hand your father his phone and/or his tablet and say with love and respect, "Google it, Michelle!" Eat those cookies. Definitely collect $200 when you pass GO.