TAG: Skirts Awards

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The 2018 Skirts Awards


Best nickname given: Ice King
Best nickname received: Fire Queen
Best nickname stolen: Knife Pervert
Best Twitter name squatted: @BigSkirtsEnergy

Best boyfriend: Ice King
Best new crush (sorry, boyfriend): Marty Scurll
Best friend forever: Tyler, aka @thursdayschild

Best new Twitter bio: "I'm into smart and beautiful chicks fucking everyone over."
Best inside joke: "Sip."
Best imaginary harem invented with Tyler: The Great French Bless-up

Home & Abroad

Best pet adopted: Gus the Explorer, a very cute and very aloof hedgehog
Best furniture inherited: a couch, finally; I sat on wicker chairs for two full years
Best plant not killed: a bird's nest fern ordered online from The Sill

Best meal cooked after a month with Blue Apron: this tilapia recipe, omg
Best food not found in Tennessee: bagels
Best pizza shipped across the country: Giordano's
Best new-to-me root beer: Virgil's

Best whiskey bar for @whiskeyskirts: The Stave Bar
Best beer not consumed: Clown Shoes
Best winery to frequent with my grandmother: Stonehaus Winery

Best event attended, #sincerely: NJPW Fighting Spirit Unleashed
Best geocache found: definitely not the one that required walking through small ponds in a forest until my socks and shoes were destroyed forever, Dad
Best unhappy travel companion: Gus, who does not like road trips one bit


Best new television show: The Good Place
Best television show to watch on repeat literally every week for the entirety of 2018: Great British Baking Show
Best television show for taking nine seasons to give me the romantic relationship I wanted all along, oh my gosh, just kiss already: Frasier

Best album for really letting loose in the car: A Pentatonix Christmas, which was on repeat for at least two full road trips
Best soundtrack to encourage speeding: Baby Driver: Music from the Motion Picture
Best Pentatonix song covered by my church (with a professional beatboxer and everything!): "O Come, All Ye Faithful"

Best movie sequel watched out of order, oops: Once Upon a Deadpool
Best oh-so-pretty movie that was also oh-so-good: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Best holiday movie watched with family: The Christmas Chronicles

Best video game watched: Assassins Creed: Origins
Best mobile game completed in one sitting: Donut County
Best mobile game full of garden gnomes: Sims Mobile

Best book read for self-improvement: The Five Love Languages
Best book read to expand and challenge my worldview: The Hate U Give
Best book read purely for entertainment: Foundation

Best podcast that I will actually stay caught up on: My Brother, My Brother and Me
Best podcast that I am very behind on but still love: Roderick on the Line
Best podcast episode that I immediately wanted to listen to a second time: Kristen Bell's interview on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend


Best app: Pacifica, a mental health app which I downloaded at the recommendation of my boyfriend; I love it so much that I spent real money to unlock additional features for a year

Best smart home upgrade purchased for a hedgehog: Philips Hue bulbs, one of which is set on a schedule to simulate summer sunrise and sunset in the guest room (to help my nocturnal hedgehog maintain a steady schedule even in the dark winter months)

Best day of the whole damn year: November 16, when a new Panera opened in Tennessee (only thirty minutes away from my house; prior to that, the closest one was two hours away)

Best previous editions of Skirts Awards: 2014, 2013, 2011

The 2014 Skirts Awards

Best nickname given: Prickly Bear
Best nickname received: Miss Mordor
Best Twitter name squatted while tipsy: @hiccupskirts

Best city visited: Las Vegas
Best grave visited: Daniel Burnham's
Best place that I nearly ran away to but didn't: Napa

Best song for making me laugh at the office: "Christmastime Is Here" cover by Jars of Clay, just the first five seconds; I don't know why
Best song for secret office sing-alongs with Young Coworker: "She Will Be Loved," by Maroon 5
Best album I kept on repeat: PTX, Vol. III, by Pentatonix

Best TV show: Downton Abbey
Best Netflix marathon: The first ten seasons of Top Gear UK
Best movie for vanquishing of foes: Godzilla

Best food delivered to my house: Grilled cheese sandwich
Best food dropped on the sidewalk: Ribs (at Rib Fest)
Best alcoholic chocolate shake: Somewhere in Vegas

Best friend for writing spontaneous musicals: Tyler
Best friend for sharing emoji-only inside jokes: Tyler
Best friend for all-caps text message shouting: Tyler

Best video game I spent way too much money on: Word Monsters (iOS)
Best video games watched: The entire Mass Effect series
Best crushworthy video game character: James from Mass Effect 3

Best books read: The Red Mars trilogy
Best quote from awful book: ". . . the chickens blew into the sea."
Best book club joined: 📘📘💣 with Tyler; only haters allowed

Best podcast I've been binge-consuming since April: Roderick on the Line
Best collection of pickle puns in a podcast: Episode 225, MBMBaM (NSFW, language and such)
Best podcast I failed to make again: Men with Skirts

Best kiss: Unexpected and at the Signature Lounge
Best misunderstanding the day after the best kiss: "I regret everything," followed by me choking on a gasp
Best fake engagement: Coming back from Vegas wearing a ring (sorry, coworkers)
Best real boyfriend: Prickly Bear

Best previous editions of Skirts Awards: 2013, 2011

The 2013 Skirts Awards

Best nickname given: Baby Beluga
Best nickname received: Ray Ray
Best Twitter names squatted: @GrammarSauron and @drumploop

Best song for getting stuck in my head: "Wrecking Ball," by Miley Cyrus (in spite of the fact that I only know 2% of the lyrics)
Best album that I'm surprised to own: The Great Gatsby soundtrack
Best concert: CSO at Ravinia, playing the soundtrack along with the second Lord of the Rings movie, The Two Towers

Best TV shows: Doctor Who and White Collar
Best TV show characters: Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl and Handles from Doctor Who

Best worst movie: Pacific Rim
Best movie that I haven't seen yet: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Best movie character: Mike Wazowski as a youngster in Monsters University

Best video game played: LEGO The Lord of the Rings (iOS)
Best video games watched: Dragon Age 1 & 2 (PS3)
Best video game I haven't watched yet but desperately want to: Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag (PS3)
Best video game reference within another video game: The Assassin's Creed reference in LEGO The Lord of the Rings was absolutely beautiful—the perfect marriage.

Best book I couldn't put down: The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand
Best book I couldn't finish for book club: All of them? (I am a book club failure.)

Best podcast that makes me want to be a better person (and read more comics): Back to Work
Best podcast that makes me laugh until I cry or drool: My Brother, My Brother and Me (warning: there is definitely adult content and a lot of cussing in this podcast; it is not safe to listen to this at work or home or anywhere)
Best podcast that hasn't actually come out yet: Return to Story Mountain

Best quote: "Cat hair is lonely people glitter." —Chris Glass
Best quote that turned into a meme: "Google it, Michelle." — Rachelskirts

Best previous edition of the Skirts Awards: 2011