When I left Tennessee, I resigned from two jobs, church and state: playing piano for my church and processing mountains of paperwork for the state department of transportation. I might end up looking for similar positions elsewhere in the country, or I may jet off to England and marry a duke. I haven't really decided, but I did dream up a few fresh options this week. Feel free to hire me as:
- the person who straightens the platters on “the gingham altar” for the technical bake section of GBBO (between when the bakers bring them up and the judges see them)
- a selfie consultant*
- the senior curator for a museum of hedgehog photography
- a digital organizer—someone who will rename all of your chaotic files and put them in perfectly logical folders
- the official Instagram influencer for Panera Bread
*People actually ask me about this more than I care to admit, but the real secret is to be very vain (and clean your camera lens).