I'll be the first to admit that I don't know what a conventional political race is supposed to look like. For the first thirty years of my life, I lived in Illinois, where four of our most recent seven governors ended up in jail. Political ads there might as well skip to the point with slogans like "slightly less corrupt than the other guy you could vote for" or "only embezzles on Wednesdays."

In Tennessee, meanwhile, the postcards I've received this month all start off listing qualities like "Sunday school teacher" and "upstanding citizen" and "family man."

The last one hit me like a ton of bricks earlier this week, as I realized none of the women running for office listed "family woman." In fact, I've never in my life heard the phrase "family woman"—presumably because it's considered redundant. No one applauds a woman for spending time with her children; instead, they belittle her if she dares to pursue goals outside of being a caretaker and homemaker.

BUT MEN.

They get to award themselves a TITLE and probably a TROPHY if they can manage to glance at their children after a hard day's work of embezzling, and I'm here to report that this is still STUPID.