Tonight, I tried to imagine what life would be like if I willingly withdrew from the internet and all the fun projects that keep me busy here. At first, I thought it might lead me to a better life, filled with more meaningful relationships and rewarding hobbies and clean laundry and the perfect eyeliner.
But then I realized that my parents used to tightly control my internet access, and it just led to me playing more Sims 2.
If you took away my computer, I'd play video games. If you took away my video games, I'd watch television. No television? Books. No books? Piano. No piano? Knitting. No knitting? I'd stab you through the heart with a knitting needle because you would clearly be deserving it by that point.
All of this makes me wonder what I'm trying so hard to avoid. Why is it that I'd rather do anything but spend quality time with my family? Why do I refuse to allow myself any friends in Chicago? Why am I filling my life with nothing but meaningless pastimes? Why do I feel like I'm not actually living my life anymore?
Sometimes, I wish Juan Pedro the sock monkey had majored in psychology instead of cheap graph-making.