Because I'm too lazy for my normal Lazyskirts bullet-point cop-out of an entry, here is an obnoxiously hyphenated sentence followed by a quote from an IM conversation.
Me: So you are burnt, bruised, ignored, thirsty, and sick?
Him: sure, throw in "hungry" and I think you've got it.
Me: I can help with zero of those problems, so I will just set here and cluck my tongue like an old lady and coo "aww" when appropriate.
Him: It all seems so helpless, and I have no plan
Him: I'm a plane in the sunset, with nowhere to land
Him: And all I see
It could never make me happy
And all my sand castles
spend their time collapsing
Me: Cluckerskirts seems like the exact nickname I would have written across a jersey should I ever play football.
(I stand by that a week later, which means that I am pretty much destined to be the next NFL superstar.)