Tonight, I finished the final episode of the fourth season of Bones. (Netflix Instant is my new best friend.) I have learned oh so many things from the show about human anatomy, psychology, murder techniques, and dreamy FBI agents named Booth. I have also learned that I really want to be a pretty genius who works with other pretty geniuses to solve crimes. If this sounds intriguing to you, add the show to your Netflix queue and then call me with your lab coat size. But first, read my handy tips for surviving the show:

1. Don't be fooled by the first season. The writing improves dramatically by the second season. Stick with it. The first season of The Office was pretty cringeworthy, too.
2. Do not be embarrassed when you totally bond with the characters and then weep at every character-building moment throughout the seasons. "OH MY GOSH, THEY HUGGED! AWWW SOB SOB SOB!" is a completely normal response.
3. You might think, "Oh, hey, I've seen Dexter. I no longer flinch during episodes of 24. I can definitely watch a show about skeletons while eating dinner." For the most part, you are correct, but all episodes are not created equal.
4. The voodoo episode made me afraid of the dark for one night. Watch that one in the daylight or with a friend or with a teddy bear or with a sock monkey.
5. MOST IMPORTANT TIP: Never ever consume Raisin Bran Crunch while watching any part of an episode that deals with brains. Raisins kind of look like tiny brains, and when soaked in milk, they kind of squish like brains. Super worst idea of all time, okay? Just trust me here.

On a related note, I will most definitely be marketing Raisin BRAIN Crunch to the zombie crowd when the time comes.