Slow Child at Play

Comments (13)

I've been telling people for years not to expect anything great from me before noon. If for some unholy reason I happen to be awake before then, I guarantee I will be struggling to survive. Today's breakfast routine was a prime example of exactly how I operate during the morning hours.

Step One: Head downstairs at 11 a.m. for breakfast. Note that there is gross Kashi cereal on the counter.

Step Two: Pour gross cereal into a bowl, since walking the extra five feet for real cereal (Lucky Charms) would require remembering how to move my legs.

Step Three: Open refrigerator to find there is no milk to put on cereal. Grumble loudly and curse Monday for being grocery day.

Step Four: Put frozen bagel in the microwave. Retrieve cream cheese from refrigerator. Notice the lack of milk, juice, and every other beverage. Curse Monday again.

Step Five: Retrieve glass from cupboard. Open refrigerator to get beverage. Remember that I just saw this empty refrigerator. Curse Monday again.

Step Six: Make cup of coffee. Leave room in the mug for milk and chocolate syrup.

Step Seven: Remember that, ZOMG!, there still isn't any freaking milk in the refrigerator. Run upstairs to curse Monday online.

Rachel

Rachel

that. sucks.

hopefully your tuesday is better!

xo

Blindsquirrel

Blindsquirrel

You should add a step into your morning routine.

Step 1: Milk Cow.

Rachelskirts

Rachelskirts

Rachel: My mom came home an hour later with milk. She made waffles, too, which totally cheered me up. :)

Blindsquirrel: Haha, indeed. Or go even further...
Step One: Acquire riches.
Step Two: Buy cow. Hire oompa loompa.
Step Three: Train oompa loompa to milk cow.

Thursday's Child

Thursday's Child

The problem with hiring an oompa loompa is that you have to pay him in cocoa beans, and I don't know if you'd be able to part with chocolate of any sort.

Rachelskirts

Rachelskirts

Thursday's Child: Maybe oompa loompas eat cocoa beans and poop chocolate. If that's the case, we'd have the best partnership on the planet.

Team Christmas

Team Christmas

You did write this blog entry before noon...

Rachelskirts

Rachelskirts

Team Christmas: I was wondering when someone would notice that...

Mostly Lisa

Mostly Lisa

you get up before noon? wow. overachiever. i like to rawk about 2pm. it's just how i roll.. outta bed and onto my couch... dinosaur pajamas and all.

Rachelskirts

Rachelskirts

Mostly Lisa: Trust me, I try not to be awake before noon. Ever. Even armed with my trusty flannel cow pajamas. When I'm unemployed, I fall asleep at 6 a.m. and wake up at 3 p.m. every day. However, with my work/church schedule, my weekdays are obviously shot to hell, and my weekends get a little ridiculous.

I was about to go into detail, but it made my head spin by the time I got through Saturday. Basically, I screw up my schedule Friday night, don't bother making up for it on Saturday, get slaughtered Sunday morning when I have to wake up early for church, nap all day Sunday, and wander around like a zombie on Monday. Thankfully, I don't have to work until Tuesday, but still. There is probably a more effective way to go about managing my time. Speaking of which, it's 1:30 a.m. I have to be up for work shortly. *sobs*

Honeybuns

Honeybuns

Sad day. My wife and I were about to have a child when death came upon her and didn't listen to my plea. At least I didn't save the game after that. I can start my life with a wife all over again...I am referring to the Sims here...that game I played for three hours last night when I should have been studying for a test I have in Pre-Exilic prophets.

Mostly Lisa

Mostly Lisa

cow pajamas, FTW!!!!!!!!!

gRegor

gRegor

Correction: Kashi cereal isn't gross.

Rachelskirts

Rachelskirts

Honeybuns: Your comment was so out of the blue and completely unrelated to the content of this post that it took me ten full minutes to realize what was going on. Of course, it didn't help much that I read it before noon. Yay, Sims 2?

Mostly Lisa: Forget cowbell. The world needs more cow pajamas.

gRegor: Fine. You eat it. But I still think it's gross. X(