Also a handy feature to install on children and cats . . .


I wish there was a way to acknowledge a dying cell phone battery so that it would shut up and stop beeping incessantly. Motorola phones have that particularly annoying beep that doesn't seem to care what your volume setting is and will declare to anyone within a five-mile radius that "THIS MORON DIDN'T CHARGE HER PHONE LAST NIGHT!! HAR HAR!"

I just want to press a button that will reassure my panicky phone that I heard it whining the first five hundred times. Yeah, I might forget five minutes later and find myself with a dead phone on my hands, but I'm willing to deal with those consequences in a civilized manner if only the unholy beeping from bloody hell would stop!! Until I find a way to program that feature into my phone, however, I get to sit here and yell in a very uncivilized manner because I am too damn lazy to go find my phone at 7:30am to plug it in.