You might be a [redneck] college student . . .


It has recently come to my attention that there is a fine line between being a college student and being a redneck. All I'm missing are several rowdy, young children underfoot and another ten or twenty years of life. Seriously now, check this out...

  • The other night, I was chowing down on my one-dollar chicken sandwich from Wendy's while sitting on one of the swingsets for sale at Wal*mart.
  • I can't even count the number of times I have been one of six people sitting on the couch in the back of Boy's van while another six guys are squished on the floor between the couch and the front seats.
  • Last semester, we would often buy Krispy Kreme donuts and Jones soda and watch movies on the roof rack (a large slab of plywood) atop this very same van.
  • I have visited the new Wal*mart in town twice already. It opened three days ago.
  • After driving up to the parking lot of Papa John's and discovering that they were only open for delivery at that hour of the night, we tried to get them to deliver a pizza to their own parking lot. When they wouldn't, we drove down the block and had the pizza delivered to the van in the parking lot of Whataburger. This soon became a tradition.
  • Hauling couches outside for seating at barbecues is a regular practice.
  • A dinner of Pop-Tarts and root beer is not uncommon. In fact, that's my current meal at 7am on a Saturday morning.