Journal Excerpts, March 2009


Telling someone that she has a distinctive walk is a fabulous way to guarantee that she will never feel as if she is walking normally again.

Friendship bracelets are extremely difficult to put on by oneself, but they fall off like overzealous lemmings or gangrenous appendages. Ingenious metaphor for friendships themselves or crazy coincidence?

Angel food cake without Cool Whip is worthless. See also: pound cake without powdered sugar.

What really makes me happy is basking alone in the afternoon sun with some playful jazz floating softly along with the breeze, lazily stirring through my thoughts as they simmer in my head.

Committing to the fantasy and ignoring the reality is much easier than committing to the reality and ignoring the fantasy.

For future study: Is there a correlation between boys who burp like wusses and boys who are spineless, annoying pansies? Can it truthfully be said that boys who burp well are worthy of love and adoration? Finally, is it possible to teach a boy to burp well?

zomg, diary. What on earth am I going to say to Elijah Wood on Twitter to set me apart from the thousands of insipid, moronic fangirls undoubtedly clamoring for his attention?