Maybe I can avoid calling him by name.


Tomorrow's the big day. I'm officially going in for an interview. With a guy whose name sounds a lot like a celebrity's name.

Pretend this man's name is Tom Bruise. (I'm trying not to get dooced before I even get this job.) I'm pretty certain that at some point, I'm going to call him Tom Cruise. That's really not the kind of first impression I want to make on day one with my potential new boss. Then again, maybe he'll think I'm clever and original, hire me on the spot, and allow me to call him Mr. Cruise because it makes him feel special.

Five minutes later, Santa will swing by to ask us for directions to the local Giordano's, where he would inevitably be meeting up with the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy for a taste of the world's best pizza.

Anywho, if y'all could be thinking of me on Wednesday at 1pm, I'd greatly appreciate any prayers, rabbits' feet, crossed fingers, or four-leaf clovers you could throw my way.