"I'm gonna be a procrastinator one day."


Movable Type's option to save an entry as "unpublished" becomes a dangerous tool in the hands of someone whose desk is constantly littered with Post-It notes. I've been using this feature to save little snippets of thoughts for months now, but I rarely have time to go through and make a full entry out of any of this "brain confetti" (term yoinked from Golfwidow).

I'm too lazy to sort through all the notes and CDs and candy wrappers on my desk, but it's fairly simple to copy/paste. That said, I present you with . . .

  • I heard the sound of a car door opening in my neighbor's driveway, and I straightened up in my chair to peer out of my window. I then immediately ducked to avoid being seen, blushing in shame at my impulsive spy move. I felt a bit like a prairie dog.

  • There's something delightful about seeing a much-anticipated film on its opening night. The air is positively alive and dancing with nervous anticipation. People chatter good-naturedly through the boring advertisements and the not-so-promising trailers. A hushed reverence then sweeps across the theater as the movie begins, sending shivers down my spine.

    It is in that moment that the audience members collectively promise one another that they are in this thing together, for better or for worse. Everyone nervously settles in to their seats, silently agreeing that a familial bond will be temporarily formed across rage, ace, and gender barriers. As Hermione tells Ron that he has "the emotional range of a teaspoon," every child, teen, adult, and senior join in a chorus of laughter that only barely avoids drowning out the sound of the movie itself. Murmurs of "no, duh!" ripple through the theater as the Minister of Magic finally concedes that Voldemort has actually returned.

    [I was in a positively wonderful mood after seeing the newest Harry Potter movie on opening night, but that might have been because it was the first time I had left the house in weeks for something other than church. As you can see, I pretty much used the words "nervously" and "anticipated" in every other sentence in this entry, which says a lot more than it should.]

  • Dear Internet Peoples,

    One of you visited my site recently looking for "oompa loompa pics." I whole-heartedly understand this.

  • Dearest Brother of Mine,

    While I truly share your love of Christmas music and have often listened to it as early as October in preparation for the upcoming holiday season, I must ask you to stop this madness. You have been listening to country versions of classic Christmas songs for the past three weeks, if not longer. KNOCK IT OFF.

  • Things that keep me up at night:

    1. Umbrella technology: We've had buttons that make umbrellas expand for a very long time. But why can't that same button make the umbrella fold all the way back up?? Really now. Aren't there people who research this? Umbrella scientists?
    2. Slow automatic doors: I haven't kissed many boys in my day, but I certainly have gotten very intimate with a number of automatic sliding doors in retail establishments because my normal gait is that of someone who is about to miss his or her plane. This isn't the South, folks. Can't we speed up those doors a bit??
    3. Minesweeper: I spend an inordinate amount of time playing this game, so I've got some pretty decent "Best Times." I shared them with a friend recently. He accused me of cheating. Is it even physically possible to cheat at Minesweeper?
    4. Macaroni and cheese: I'm the only person I know who was raised to say "macs and cheese" instead of "mac and cheese." How can this be?

  • Danielpants: Good lord, parry city...
    Me: ?
    Danielpants: Fighting a Scarlet Crusade guy and got like, 15 parries in a row.
    Me: Wow, you really just don't hear that kind of talk outside of the MMORPG world...

  • Danielpants: Someone totally just asked what 'lfg' meant.
    Me: It's like a leg? Your limb? But with a little less vowel.

  • "White crayon ('hwIt 'krA-"än), n: A useless person or thing you are nonetheless required to have for the sake of completeness or tradition. With his approval ratings in the 30s and members of his own party turning against him, the Bush presidency is rapidly becoming a white crayon." - Defective Yeti