My desk belonged to Mary Poppins in a previous life.


Things I found in the course of cleaning out my desk drawers:

  • Two staplers. Not sure why.
  • Four identical name tags from my days at Office Depot. I forgot them at home a lot.
  • Four Hershey's bar wrappers.
  • Two "fun-sized" candy bars of unknown origin. Presumably, they are part of my "emergency stash."
  • Enough Post-It notes to mark every container of deli meat in the country.
  • A receipt with the words "kikari takaramono" written on the back.
  • A piece of hardware somehow linked to a piece of IKEA furniture.
  • A ceramic bowl from my first year of college. Back before I started splurging on disposable bowls.
  • Make-up that I must have shoved in the back of my drawer in June when strangers were last in my bedroom.
  • Claritin that surprisingly doesn't expire until next year. I cannot remember the last time I bought Claritin.
  • A certification card from the American Red Cross saying that I had passed the first level of swimming lessons. In June of 1997.
  • Two leather daily planners. One Lord of the Rings-themed daily planner.
  • A kick-ass watch with Patrick Star on the front. Probably from a cereal box, where all the best watches are born.
  • A blueprint I copied from the local newspaper to use in The Sims.
  • A Hotwheels car.
  • Every item from Office Depot's catalogue.