Next Step: Workin' on my Whiskey Face


We have two sizes of drinking glasses at my house. I'm normally extremely loyal to the tall, skinny glasses, since they hold more liquid. I don't know if I'm so thirsty because I'm too lazy to eat, or if I'm so lazy because I'm so dehydrated. Regardless, we can all agree that the fewer trips needed for refills, the better.

But tonight, I went to pour the remainder of the New Year's Eve sparkling white grape juice into a glass. Only a pitiful amount was left, and I knew it would look even more pathetic in a tall glass. So in a bold move, I chose to fill a short, squatty glass with the remainder of the juice, trying to avoid the "is this half full or half empty?" conversation with the cat sitting on my foot.

I distracted myself by staring into the liquid, at which point I noticed that the majority of its "sparkle" had gone the way of 2008. However, the remaining fizz still allowed me to pretend that I was drinking a classy, alcoholic beverage instead of a glorified kindergarten staple. (If I'm being honest, that's one of my favorite parts of sparkling white grape juice and the main reason I chugged it straight from the bottle through most of 2007.) While I was thinking of alcohol, I noticed that the short, squatty glass in my hand could be mistaken for a very distant cousin of a traditional whiskey glass. I mean, one would probably have to be relatively smashed to make such a mistake, but there's still a chance that it could happen.

All this to say, I have spent the entire evening drinking apple juice from a short, squatty glass (oh my gosh, could I find another word for "glass" yet?) and pretending to be relaxed and charming because of it. Please tell me you did something cooler with your Saturday night.