Seriously, now. A rolling lollipop?


I hate watching the news. Obviously, it's terrifying and depressing and all that jazz, which always makes me shift uncomfortably in my chair. There was also that one incident in which the local newscaster said "LOL" out loud while making little hand motions on her forehead. (The fact that she essentially made the symbol for "loser" twice kinda sums up that event in a nutshell.) But there's also that whole part where you don't get to choose which stories you hear and which ones you don't.

Yesterday, it finally dawned on me that I didn't actually hate "the news" in general, just watching standard television news programs. For example, I came across this article from The New York Times and spent a good five minutes wondering how many people read a journal called NeuroToxicology. Another five minutes of my life were dedicated to pondering who came up with the term "rolling lollipop" for a Segway. (Also, I do remember noticing on St. Patrick's Day that the Segways used by the Chicago police department are equipped with what look like the more expensive wheels, the ones that allow you to go "off-roading." The mental image that brought to mind — the one of a police officer chasing a criminal over the river and through the woods — has made me consider a career in crime.) I was actually genuinely interested in the historically significant train ride between North and South Korea, although it did remind me that my history teacher from this past semester would always say "peninshula" every time he referenced Korea.

The point here, I guess, is that I'm kinda looking forward to being more aware of the world around me. With so many great news sources online, I can click on whichever headlines interest me the most and skip all the gruesome tales of death and turmoil until after I've had some coffee. Or hot chocolate. Or both.

Besides, if someone like Bill Clinton is about to have his hands all over my city, I'd like to be fully warned and prepared.