Cheese Is Trapped


Internet, I have something tasty and drunk for you, and her name is Hannah "Harto" Hart.

What, you've already seen My Drunk Kitchen? Every episode? Even the newish one about tacos? I don't believe you.

As I was saying, Harto is some precious gold, recently discovered in the mines of YouTube. Her haircut is eerily similar to my own, and she has as much success in the kitchen while completely plastered as I do while completely sober. (Truth: my fingers tried to type "slowber" there.)

Favorite quotes. In bullets. Because that is what blogging is all about, munchkins.

  • "The first thing you should do is . . . not be drunk while you're cooking. Just saying. Safety advisory. Maybe you should've gotten a burrito."
  • "And then you add . . . fire."
  • "It's important to remember when you're cooking to use food."
  • "Is there cheese sauce on me? That's a good line to pick somebody up."
  • "Here's some more advice. Take a nap!"
  • "Mmk, cheese is trapped. So you can't have cheese."
  • "Download a cookie recipe off Kazaa."
  • "At this point in the process, I can only assume it was a typo, and they meant to say 'cram.'"
  • "Okay, so I don't have a cookie pan, but I have this . . . this . . . kind of pegboard."
  • "Why do so many grandmas insist they have perfect meatball recipes?"
  • "Brunch people whine about problems that aren't actually problems. So let's do a little bit of that!"
  • "If you have a dream, you should have it in your heart face."
  • "I bet I can out-crawl-under-tiny-spaces you."
  • "This cheese is great, Ted!"
  • "The taco is the most versatile fruit."

And as a bonus, I'm including an episode guide!

I recommend starting with episodes three, four, and seven. You're welcome.