Dear Really Hot Guy,
You seem to be coming to the church for counseling, which is great. Therapy is for the strong, baby, not for the weak. (I wouldn't really know because I quit after my first session, but we can talk about that later.) You also seem to have skills in wearing a hat. I am so entranced by how cute you are with your hat and your slightly bad-ass wardrobe that I never remember to ask your name. To quote Stephanie Tanner, "How RUDE!"
Anyway, you've completely stolen my heart away from Panera Kyle, who doesn't seem to show up to work anymore. If you want to sneak off to a janitor's closet to talk and stuff, I've got a key. Just let me know, darlin'.
P.S. Please tell me your name next time. Unless you want me to simply call you "Sweetheart." I'm cool with that, too.
P.P.S. Thank you for making Wednesdays bearable.