Parents, do not try this at home.

Mom: howdy
*** Auto-response sent to Mom: Pushing people off of planks...
Me: Hey hey.
Mom: hey - I wanta push people off planks
Me: Feel free to help out.
Mom: do they scream?
Me: Yeah, that's the best part.
Mom: awesome!

Oh, the homesickness. How many days 'til Spring Break?